There once was a girl named Samantha Quinn.

Who loved to get drunk on tonics and gin.

Everyday, after work she'd run home for a quick shower.

Then head straight to the bar just in time for happy hour.

She'd meet up with some friends and chat up the men.

After all she'd been single since god know when.

Vodka sodas, red wine, cosmos, martinis

Samantha simply loved so sip on bellinis.

And after she had just a few drinks in her,

She would feel fantastic and would start to wonder:

Which guy will I take home tonight?

The one on that couch seems kind of all right.

Her heart had been shattered too many times in the past,

She was now used to things that don't last.

One after the other, like at a buffet,

She'd sample, and try out, then simply toss away.

After all she had no time for silly romances,

Samantha was a business gal in the field of finances.

But what Sam didn't realize was that by being too busy,

her twenties had passed, oh my, how lousy.

And when she was finally ready to settle down,

She was no longer the finest woman in town.

Age had struck, her eyes were now baggy.

Her boobs, once perfect, were now old and saggy.

Poor Samantha forty three now lives alone,

While her friends all have families of their own.

She did all she could to find someone to marry,

The moral here is that some people are just not meant to be happy.